Escape to Paradise: Greenland's Arctic Hotel Awaits!
Greenland's Arctic Hotel: Escape to Paradise? Let's Dive In (and Try Not to Freeze!) 🥶
Okay, so you're thinking Greenland? Beyond the breathtaking glaciers, the Northern Lights dances, and the general "WOAH, I'M ON ANOTHER PLANET" vibe? You're eyeing up the Greenland's Arctic Hotel: Escape to Paradise! (That name's a little…aspirational, isn't it? Let's find out!) I've scoured the details, and I'm gonna give you the real deal - warts and all. Buckle up, ice explorers, because this review’s gonna be a wild ride!
Accessibility & Wheely-Good Stuff:
First things first, because let’s face it, travel has to be accessible for everyone. Now, the brochure mentions "Facilities for disabled guests" which is a good start, but specific details are seriously needed. I'm talking specifics! Are there ramps everywhere? Are the elevators wide enough? Are the bathrooms fully accessible? The lack of hardcore detail is a major (and pretty common) gripe. I'd suggest calling the hotel directly and asking very specific questions if accessibility is crucial to your needs. Don't assume. Find out. [Accessibility: needs further verification]
Internet, Because We're Still Human:
Okay, thank goodness, Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! Hallelujah! Because honestly, what's a trip to the Arctic without Instagramming those epic aurora shots? (Just don't blame me if you blow your data plan trying to upload a selfie with a polar bear. Hypothetically, of course.) What's more, the presence of Internet [LAN] and Internet services is a nice nod to the old-schoolers and a backup in case the Wi-Fi gods are feeling mischievous. There's also Wi-Fi in public areas, which is essential for that pre-dinner cocktail bragging session.
Things to Do & Ways to Relax (Oh, the Dreams!):
Alright, THIS is where the “Paradise” part could potentially kick in. Let's be optimistic!
- Spa/sauna: Yes, please! After a day trekking through the ice, a good sauna sounds like pure heaven. And the option of a Spa itself suggests more than just a sauna.
- Swimming pool [outdoor]: Ooh, a pool with a view? I sure hope it's heated, because I'm not keen on a polar plunge!
- Fitness center: Gotta stay in shape to face those icy winds, right?
- Massage: Yes, yes, yes! A massage is always a good idea. Body scrub and Body wrap too? Sign me up!
- Pool with view: Hopefully, the view is beyond just the hotel property.
Cleanliness & Safety (Because No One Wants Sickness in the Arctic!):
This is HUGE, especially in these times. The hotel boasts:
- Anti-viral cleaning products
- Daily disinfection in common areas
- Hand sanitizer EVERYWHERE
- Rooms sanitized between stays
- Safe dining setup
That's all reassuring! The Staff trained in safety protocol is a crucial point. Physical distancing of at least 1 meter is a good start. And Sanitized kitchen and tableware items go without saying. They also have Cashless payment service, which is convenient. There's a Doctor/nurse on call, which could be really important in a remote location. First aid kit is essential too!
(Rant Alert!) They remove Shared stationery? Okay, good! But the Room sanitization opt-out available? Seriously? Why would you opt out of a safe experience?! I'd guess that's in place to avoid wasting cleaning supplies, but it's a huge red flag for me. I'd absolutely expect Professional-grade sanitizing services to be the standard, not an option.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking (Fueling the Arctic Explorer!):
Okay, this is where things get interesting… and potentially pricey (it's Greenland, after all!).
- Restaurants: Multiple? Let's hope so!
- Restaurants (Asian, Western, Vegetarian?): Variety is the spice of life(even in the icy Arctic).
- Bar: Always good to have a spot to thaw out with something strong!
- Poolside bar: If there is a heated pool, this is genius.
- Coffee shop: Yes, please! Coffee is life, even in Greenland.
- Breakfast [Buffet]: Yay for morning fuel!
- Room service [24-hour]: A lifesaver at 3 am if you're still working on your aurora borealis photography.
- Snack bar: Good for a quick bite.
- A la carte in restaurant & Buffet in restaurant: Hopefully, this means some diverse choices.
They also offer Breakfast in room, Breakfast takeaway service, Alternative meal arrangement, and Safe dining setup. This makes sense in a pandemic world.
Services and Conveniences (The Nitty-Gritty):
A mixed bag here, but with some good stuff:
- Concierge: Always helpful!
- Dry cleaning & Laundry service: Essential!
- Elevator: Vital, especially if you have mobility issues.
- Currency exchange: Handy.
- Daily housekeeping: Standard, but appreciated.
- Luggage storage: Great for pre- or post-adventure travel.
- Airport transfer: Big plus, especially in a place like Greenland.
- Car park [free of charge]: Always a bonus!
For the Kids (Gotta Know!):
- Family/child friendly: Good.
- Babysitting service: Okay, if you need it.
- Kids meal: Maybe…
- Kids facilities: The details, please!
Available in all rooms (The Room Itself, the Real Test!):
Now, let's see what those rooms are like:
- Air conditioning: Probably not needed, unless the greenhouse effect hits Greenland hard!
- Alarm clock: Good, because you don't want to miss the aurora!
- Bathtub & Separate shower/bathtub: Lovely if you want a soak at the end of the day.
- Blackout curtains: Essential for those long summer days when the sun never sets.
- Coffee/tea maker: YES!
- Complimentary tea & Free bottled water: Nice touches!
- Daily housekeeping: Standard, but appreciated.
- Desk & Laptop workspace: For checking emails or planning your next kayaking adventure.
- Hair dryer: A must-have.
- In-room safe box: For your valuables.
- Internet access – wireless: Obviously essential.
- Mini bar: For something stronger to sip on while viewing the aurora borealis.
- Non-smoking: Good.
- Private bathroom: Yes.
- Refrigerator: Useful!
- Satellite/cable channels: Perfect for catching up on world news.
- Seating area: A nice touch.
- Shower: Required.
- Smoke detector: Safety first.
- Soundproofing: Hopefully, to keep you from hearing the wind howling all night long.
- Telephone: For room service or emergencies.
- Toiletries: Gotta have them.
- Wi-Fi [free]: Praise be!
- Window that opens: Important for fresh air, in case of emergencies.
Getting Around (How Do We Actually Get There?):
Okay, let’s talk logistics. The presence of Airport transfer is crucial! I'm very curious about this. Is it a shuttle bus, a private car, or a dog sled (kidding… mostly)?
My Overall Hot Take (and a Personal Anecdote):
Okay, so after wading through all that info, here’s the deal: Greenland's Arctic Hotel: Escape to Paradise! could actually be a pretty amazing experience!!
The Good: It's got the potential for some seriously relaxing spa time after a day of adventuring. The Free Wi-Fi is a must. The safety measures seem really strong, which is a big plus. And the location, well… it's Greenland! It's going to be a once-in-a-lifetime kind of experience.
The Bad: The vagueness around accessibility is a real bummer. They could use a bit more detail. And while the dining options seem okay, I'd love to see more specifics about what to expect in terms of food quality and variety. The "opt-out" of room sanitization is also a big concern and something I would definitely ask about.
My Personal Experience (Imagined):
I'd love to just jump on a plane and go. I can picture it now: After a day of kayaking through icy fjords, I'm heading straight to the sauna. I'm thinking of a hot stone massage, followed by
Baton Rouge's BEST Kept Secret? The Cook Hotel Awaits!
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because this is not your sanitized, Instagram-filtered itinerary. This is Ilulissat, Greenland, raw and real, viewed through the bleary eyes of a caffeine-addicted, emotionally-charged travel writer (that's me! Hi!). And we're doing it all from the Hotel Arctic, a place that promises a view and delivers… well, let's just say it delivers.
Hotel Arctic: Greenlandic Rhapsody of Chaos (My Rough Draft… and Yours)
Day 1: Arrival and Arctic Whimper (or, Where’s My Damn Luggage?)
- Morning (or, What Time IS It, Even?): Landed in Ilulissat. Honestly, the small plane felt like a metal bird about to fall out of the sky. My stomach currently lives in my throat. The airport? Cute as a button, tiny, and… guess what? MY LUGGAGE IS PROBABLY IN COPENHAGEN. Seriously?! This after the hellish flight from Reykjavik, full of screaming babies and the guy next to me who kept trying to tell me about crypto while drooling.
- Afternoon (or, The Search for Sanity and a Warm Meal): Checked into Hotel Arctic. The view of the ice fjord? Jaw-dropping, truly. Okay, maybe my jaw IS dropped because of the cold and the missing suitcase. The hotel itself is all sleek angles and modern minimalist. Makes me feel a tiny bit inadequate (and craving a fluffy duvet situation). Lunch at the restaurant (with the view) was a valiant effort. I ordered the fish and chips and it was… fine. Kind of bland (blasphemy, I know). Started a mild panick about the luggage situation. Ordered a hot chocolate. My current state might be best described as "existential dread meets thermal underwear."
- Evening (or, The Sunset That Redeems Everything – Almost): Okay, the sunset. Oh. My. Gods. The sky exploded in hues of pink, orange, and purple, reflecting off the icebergs. It was ridiculous, breathtaking, and made me almost cry (which is pretty much my default setting at the moment). Wandered around town (still luggage-less, but with a slightly renewed sense of wonder). A tiny cafe with the most amazing coffee and… wait for it… homemade chocolate cake. Victory! Met a local woman with the most incredible laugh. "The luggage? It will find you," she cackled. "Eventually." Feeling a sliver of hope, and about a pound of chocolate cake heavier.
Day 2: Dog Sledding Dreams (and a Sledding Reality)
Morning (or, The Dawn of… More Chaos?): Woke up. Survived. Luggage? Still missing. I'm starting to think it's joined a secret society of rogue suitcases. Trying to put on a brave face, but the thermal underwear is getting a bit… clingy. Booked the dog sledding excursion. Am I prepared? Nope. Am I excited? Absolutely, 100%. This feels like finally getting to live out a dream.
Afternoon (or, The Dogs Have More Sense Than I Do): Dog sledding! Okay, so, picture this: me, flapping around like a newbie, getting yelled at by a guy who seems to live and breath the arctic. (Don't think I'm not jealous). The dogs? Amazing. Strong, focused, and completely unconcerned with my general lack of coordination. They ran like the wind, yanking me across the frozen landscape. I screamed, I laughed, I may have almost fallen off the sled. The cold was unbelievable. My face hurt from the wind; my fingers felt like tiny, numb sausages. But the sensation of speed, the pristine white, the sheer wildness of it all… It was an experience that I'll be talking about for the rest of my life! Now, after about five hours I was ready to say goodbye.
Evening (or, The Post-Sledding Nap of the Gods): I might have fallen asleep in the lobby. Woke up with drool on my chin. No regrets. Dinner at the hotel again. This time I ordered the local delicacy of seal and… wow. Wow. What a bold flavor. I liked it, but I could only take a few bites. Day 3: Kayaking and Kayaking-Adjacent Existentialism"
Morning (or, The Cold That Bites): Kayaking tour! Supposed to be a calm morning, but, NOPE. The wind bites like a polar bear. The fjord is absolutely covered in icebergs. They shift and groan and look both beautiful and terrifying. The guide explains the dangers of overturning in the water and I immediately have a brief conversation with my anxiety. Decided to get the experience.
Afternoon (or, The Water is Cold!): The kayaking itself? Incredible. Paddling around enormous icebergs, feeling the vastness of it all. The guide gave us hot chocolate with some local delicacy; I felt warm, I felt alive.
Evening (or, The Aftermath and the Big Question): Back at the hotel. Shower in the sauna. Reflecting on the beauty of the island, and my place in this big, cold, world. More cake!
(late at night): I decided to try and find my luggage. Went to the place where my luggage was supposed to have been. All the local people were nice but I couldn't find anything of my luggage.
Day 4: Flight Day and Departure
- Morning: (or, The "Departure of the Luggage?"):" Woke up this morning. No luggage. That's okay, I have a few things in my backpack. I should be okay. Booked the flight home, said bye to the people at the hotel.
- Afternoon: Got on the plane that leads me to Copenhagen. Bye Greenland! See you again!
Final Thoughts (or, The Verdict):
Ilulissat is a place that strips you bare, not just physically (hello, cold!), but emotionally. It's a kick in the teeth of the everyday, a reminder of the wild, untamed beauty that's still out there. It’s a place that can make you laugh, cry, and question everything. My luggage? Still missing. But the memories? Those are here to stay. And honestly? That might be enough. Maybe. Probably. If I can just stop thinking about the damn thermal underwear.
P.S. Pack well. Seriously. And maybe send a carrier pigeon ahead of your luggage. Just in case.
P.P.S. I'm going to need to buy a LOT of souvenirs to replace what's in the lost luggage. Send help (and chocolate).
Unbelievable! This Suining Hotel Will Blow Your Mind! (Hanting Hotel Suining Post Building)
1. So, Greenland, huh? Isn't that, like, REALLY cold? And, you know, mostly ice?
Okay, let's start with the obvious. YES. It's cold. Like, face-numbingly, bone-chillingly cold. My first thought stepping off the plane? "Dear God, I forgot a scarf." (Pro-tip: Bring a scarf. And gloves. And several pairs of thermal underwear. Trust me, my toes are still recovering from the -20C mornings.) But the *ice*… oh, the ice. Forget your puny ice cubes. Imagine colossal, glacier-carved mountains of ice that shimmer in a light you've never seen before. It's otherworldly, and yes, gorgeous, even if it's perpetually trying to freeze your eyelashes to your face. The beauty cancels out the shivers... almost.
2. This "Arctic Hotel"… is it actually *nice*? "Paradise" is a strong word, no?
"Paradise" is marketing, darling. Let's be real. The Arctic Hotel... look, it's *good*. It's comfortable. It has heat (thank the lord). The rooms are clean-ish. But don't go expecting five-star luxury. Think more… three-star with a view that will *literally* knock your socks off. I had a room with a balcony that overlooked the fjord. One time I stumbled out there in the middle of the night, half-asleep, and saw the aurora borealis dancing above. It was so breathtaking, I almost forgot I was freezing. Almost. The Wi-Fi, though? That’s another story. Prepare to disconnect, both physically and spiritually (in a good way!).
3. What's the food situation? Will I be eating exclusively blubber and feeling like a polar bear in a human suit?
Okay, about the food. Yes, arctic cuisine is a thing. And yes, it can be a little… adventurous. I tried (and actually *liked*) seal. It tasted like… well, it tasted like the sea. The hotel restaurant, thank goodness, also serves "normal" food. Freshly caught seafood with a Greenlandic twist. The reindeer stew? Bloody amazing. The buffet breakfast, however, was a bit of a mixed bag. Let's just say my digestive system went through a few *interesting* phases. Prepare for a lot of rye bread. Seriously. Prepare for a lifetime supply.
4. Activities? What *do* you DO in Greenland, besides shiver and eat rye bread?
Oh, the activities! This is where Greenland truly shines. Dog sledding? Bucket list, CHECK. I'm not going to lie, the first time was terrifying. Your guide yells, the dogs are barking, and you're flying across the snow like a crazy person. But the silence after you get moving, the crisp air, the pure joy radiating from those dogs? Pure magic. Then there's glacier hiking. Climbing on *actual* ice. It’s surreal. I also did a boat tour to see the icebergs. They're gigantic, they're blue AND they're melting, so kinda depressing, but also incredibly beautiful and humbling. Just be prepared for the constant wind and a serious case of "blue-light blindness" from all the ice. I even tried my hand at seal hunting. But that's another, much longer story, and well… I'm not sure I’m a natural born hunter. I'll just leave it at that.
5. What about the people? Are the locals, you know, welcoming?
Yes! Utterly. They are incredibly welcoming. The Greenlandic people are a tough, resilient bunch, with a deep connection to their land. They're also incredibly kind and generous, with a wicked sense of humor. Speaking Danish or even *trying* to speak a few phrases in Greenlandic (Inuit language). Trust me, they'll appreciate the effort. I was invited to a local family's home for a traditional meal (definitely involved seal). I felt like I learned more about the place and the human experience in that evening than in the whole week before. It was a real experience.
6. Okay, spill the tea. The BEST part? And the worst?
BEST PART: The raw, untamed beauty. The Aurora Borealis. Seeing the Northern Lights. It made me actually cry. Like, ugly cry. The air was so clear and the lights were dancing right above my head, green and purple and… I can't even describe it. Pure, unadulterated, soul-rejuvenating *wow*. WORST PART: The isolation. It’s a long way *from* anywhere. Cell service can be spotty, and while this is an amazing opportunity to disconnect, it can also be lonely. Having an emotional breakdown because you’re missing your cat back at home is also pretty common. (Don't judge me.) And then there’s the price tags on the souvenirs. Ouch.
7. Would you go back? And should I go?
Would I go back? In a heartbeat. Despite the cold, the occasional food-related stomach rumblings, and the slightly-iffy Wi-Fi. Absolutely. Should you go? If you're looking for a pristine, all-inclusive resort experience, maybe think again. But if you want adventure, to be challenged, to see something truly *different*, and to experience the raw, magnificent beauty of a place that feels like the edge of the world? Then YES. Pack your warmest clothes, your sense of adventure, and prepare to be blown away. And maybe pack an extra pair of socks. You’ll thank me later.
8. Let's talk about the dog sledding, specifically. Tell me EVERYTHING.
Okay. Dog sledding. It deserves its own section. Because, frankly, it was the *most* memorable thing. The dogs, first of all. Huskies. Gorgeous, shaggy, eyes-like-ice creatures of pure energy. They're basically coiled springs, just *itching* to run. They're harnessed up, barking and yipping, and it's this insane cacophony of sound and energy. You stand on the runners, and your guide gives the signal, and… WOOSH. That first lurchSmart Traveller Inns
Post a Comment for "Escape to Paradise: Greenland's Arctic Hotel Awaits!"