Lisbon Luxury: Comtesse Lisbonne Apartment - Your Dream Stay Awaits!
Lisbon Luxury: Comtesse Lisbonne Apartment - My Dream Stay… Almost! (A Brutally Honest Review)
Alright, picture this: you’re dreaming of Lisbon. Cobblestone streets, that delicious, slightly gritty air, the pasteis de nata… And you've stumbled upon the Lisbon Luxury: Comtesse Lisbonne Apartment. The name alone promises something… well, luxurious. So, did it deliver? Let’s just say it’s complicated. Buckle up, buttercups, because I’m about to unleash my unfiltered Lisbon experience!
Accessibility: The Ups & Downs (Mostly Downs, Sadly)
Okay, accessibility. This is where things immediately got a little… stressful. While the listing mentions facilities for disabled guests, it wasn't exactly crystal clear. The elevator was a lifesaver (thank you, tiny metal box!), but navigating the initial arrival with luggage was a bit of a maze. I didn't specifically need wheelchair access, but even for a reasonably mobile person, the uneven cobblestone streets leading up to the building made me feel like a slightly tipsy tap dancer. Once inside the apartment, thankfully, it was a different story. More on that later. Important note: if you have mobility concerns, double and triple-check all the details before you book. Don't be shy! Ask specific questions about doorways, bathrooms, and anything else you're worried about. That's my number one advice right there.
Rooms That Rock (and Sometimes Rock Too Hard)
Let’s dive into the actually good stuff: the apartment itself. My god, the rooms! They're definitely the highlight!
- Amenities Galore: Air conditioning that actually worked (Hallelujah!), a mini-bar stocked with guilty pleasures (hello, chilled vinho verde!), and a coffee/tea maker that saved me from the early morning caffeine withdrawals (seriously, I might be addicted to coffee). The complimentary tea selection was a thoughtful touch.
- The Little Things: Bathrobes and slippers? Check! Extra-long bed? Yes, please! I hated climbing into my own bed at home after this, by the way. It was so comfy, it made me want to weep. The extra-long bed was the best part; I could stretch out like a starfish!
- Technology Triumph: Free Wi-Fi in all rooms? Check! Actually, there was excellent Wi-Fi all over the place. Made my Instagramming needs feel extremely satisfied! No more lag on my video calls (essential for pretending to work while on vacation), and the LAN connection was a bonus for the times when I decided to feel old-school. The in-room safe box felt reassuring. The alarm clock was a necessity for waking up on time and I could wake up in a comfy room.
- The Dark Side (and the Good Side): The blackout curtains were a absolute godsend for a light sleeper like me. They worked so well, it was borderline disturbing at times. Seriously, I overslept once because I couldn’t tell what time it was. But hey, no complaints about being overly rested, right?
- The Bathroom Blues: The bathroom was mostly decent, but the shower pressure was a touch… wimpy. And I'm not a fan of separate showers, I prefer the old setup. The toiletries were a nice brand, though. The bathtub was a luxurious addition, though, and I enjoyed soaking in a hot bath.
- Overall Room Feel: It was soundproof! I could blast my Spotify without having to worry that I would disturb anyone, or even hear anyone from the street. I also noted that the carpet was good and the room felt clean.
Eating, Drinking, and Being Merry (Mostly Merry, Let's Be Honest)
- Breakfast in the Room (or Not): Okay, so the "Breakfast in room" option was tempting. But here's the truth: it wasn’t included in the original booking. You had to specifically request it and, well, prices were high. So I ended up going to the local pastry shop and stuffing myself full of pasteis de nata. No regrets!
- Dining Options: They have restaurants. A la carte, of course. And all sorts of cuisines! But unfortunately, Lisbon’s food scene is so vibrant that eating in the hotel felt like a crime against deliciousness. I only took a peek at the restaurant during breakfast, but it looked very nice.
- Bar? Yes! Yep, they have a bar! I only peeked once for a drink on my way out for a walk, and the service was great, despite being a bit pricey!
- Snack Bar: Good for quick bites or for a small meal, but like the restaurant, it was a little unvisited.
- The Bottle of Water: Always appreciate that!
Cleanliness, Safety, and the Pandemic Tango (This is Important!)
Look, with the world the way it is, hygiene is a huge factor.
- The Good News: They were serious about cleanliness. Hand sanitiser, and the staff were all wearing masks. They had a physical distancing of at least 1 meter.
- My Opinion: It was reassuring to see.
- Professional-grade sanitizing services: It seems they were very serious about safety, so that's great!
- Room sanitization opt-out available: Always good to know, in case you have your own cleaning ritual.
- Sterilizing equipment and Anti-viral cleaning products: Again, great!
Relaxation and the Pursuit of Bliss (Did I Manage It?)
Right, let's talk about pampering.
- Spa/Sauna: I spent a lot of time in the sauna, and it was amazing. I think I saw a pool with a view too. The steamroom also looked appealing.
- Pool with view/Swimming pool: Perfect for a summer day.
- Fitness center: It looked to have several machines, but I wanted to do something with it.
Services and Conveniences: The Little Extras
- Concierge Service: Yay! Helpful folks who gave decent restaurant recommendations (thank you, helpful people!).
- Daily Housekeeping: They kept on top of things. Clean towels, fresh bedding, the works.
- Elevator: A Lifesaver!: The elevator was small, a bit creaky, but better than lugging your suitcase up a spiral staircase.
- Laundry Service + Dry Cleaning: Very, very handy.
- Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings, and Seminars: I didn't use any of those, but they were there.
- Luggage storage: Made my final day much easier, before my flight.
Getting Around: Lisbon's Rollercoaster
- Airport Transfer: They offer it (for a fee, obviously). Worth it after a long flight!
- Car Park [free of charge]: Made it really easy if you have a car/rent one!
For the Kids/Babysitting Service: Not relevant to me, but it's good to know for those traveling with little ones.
Things to Do & See (Beyond the Apartment Walls)
Okay, so Lisbon. There's so much to do!
- Explore the Alfama! Get lost in the maze-like streets!
- Ride Tram 28! Expect to be squished, but it's a must-do (and a great way to get up to the castle).
- Visit São Jorge Castle. Great views!
- Eat all the seafood!
- Drink ginjinha (sour cherry liqueur) – it's the law!
The Final Verdict: Should You Book?
Listen up. Lisbon Luxury: Comtesse Lisbonne Apartment is good, not perfect. It’s a solid choice with some definite perks: stylish rooms, (mostly) great amenities, and a prime location (assuming you're prepared for the hills). The cleanliness is a big win, and the staff were generally very helpful.
My Honest Recommendation?
It's a good choice if you prioritize comfort and location and are prepared to, say, ask clarifying questions about accessibility before you book.
But…
If accessibility is your top priority, please double-check the details very carefully.
To sum it up:
- Good: The views from the rooms, the decor, the cleanliness, the helpful door staff.
- Could be better: Accessibility clarification, shower pressure.
My Overall Rating: 4 out of 5 stars. Would I stay again? Probably, yes! But I'd definitely do my homework before booking.
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Okay, buckle up, buttercup, because this isn't your glossy travel brochure. This is real life, Comtesse Lisbonne style, in all its glorious, wonky glory. Get ready for a trip that might leave you smelling faintly of sardines and desperately craving a pastel de nata.
Comtesse Lisbonne - Apartment F: My Chaotic Lisbon Itinerary (May Contain Excessive Enthusiasm & Mild Panic)
Day 1: Arrival & Existential Dread (AKA, Welcome to Lisbon!)
- Morning (ish - who am I kidding, more like mid-afternoon): Arrive at Lisbon Humberto Delgado Airport. Attempt to understand the metro system. Success rate: roughly 30%. End up buying a wildly overpriced airport transfer because, frankly, navigating a foreign public transport system after a red-eye flight is just too much. The driver, bless his heart, looked like he'd seen it all (probably because he had). He winked and said, "Lisbon. Welcome to the chaos, Senhora!" That pretty much set the tone.
- Afternoon: Find Apartment F. "Comtesse Lisbonne" sounds incredibly fancy, right? Turns out, it’s a charming (okay, slightly creaky) apartment with a seriously killer view of the Alfama district. Immediate emotional reaction: "YES. This is it. All that jet lag and travel anxiety was WORTH IT." Then… existential dread kicks in. "Am I cool enough to be in Lisbon? Do I speak enough Portuguese to order a coffee without looking like a complete idiot?" The answer to both questions is most likely "no."
- Late Afternoon/Evening: Unpack. Swear at the suitcase. Discover the hairdryer is older than I am. Decide to embrace the frizz. Walk around the immediate neighbourhood, get wildly lost (surprise!), stumble upon a tiny little tasca (local restaurant). Order something I think is grilled sardines (pretty sure, but who knows, really?) with some crusty bread and a glass of vinho verde (€12 total). Verdict: Heaven. Even if it took me 10 minutes to figure out how to pay. Almost cry from happiness. This, my friends, is living.
- Evening (very late): Drag myself back to the apartment, fueled by sardines and a healthy dose of jet lag. Sit on the balcony, watch the city lights twinkle, and vow to learn at least one Portuguese phrase tomorrow that isn't just "Obrigado" (thank you). Spoiler alert: I fail miserably.
Day 2: Tram 28 & Tile Overload (Plus, My First Portuguese Meltdown)
- Morning: Attempt to be a tourist. Wake up ridiculously early (thanks, jet lag!). Head to Praça Martim Moniz to board Tram 28. Mistake number one: go on a Saturday. It's a sardine can on wheels. The kind where you're squished against sweaty strangers and desperately clinging to a pole for dear life. The views are amazing, the experience? Let's just say it's intense.
- Mid-Morning: Get off the tram somewhere, anywhere. Wander around the Alfama again (still getting lost, naturally). Discover a shop selling azulejos (the beautiful blue and white tiles). Become obsessed. Seriously, I wanted to buy all of them. My bank account shuddered. My inner magpie rejoiced. Realize I have absolutely no space in my suitcase (or my life) for an azulejo the size of a small fridge. Moment of crushing disappointment.
- Lunch: Attempt to order a bifana (pork sandwich) at a local eatery. This is where the first meltdown begins. My Portuguese is abysmal. The waiter speaks approximately three words of English. I point frantically at the sandwich, gesticulate wildly, and finally give up, resorting to a mournful "Bifana?" He nods. Success! Except then I accidentally order a cerveja (beer) when I meant to order a water. Panic sets in. Mouth dry from the beer that's still to come and the sandwich is good. The moment is chaotic and beautiful. Maybe I should get a beer.
- Afternoon: Recover from the Bifana (and the beer). Find a small park with a view of the São Jorge Castle. Lie down on a bench, close my eyes, and for a blissful 20 minutes, forget about everything. This is Portugal. This is perfect.
- Late Afternoon: Visit the Jerónimos Monastery. It's stunning, yes, but also… overwhelming. So much ornate detail! My brain starts to glaze over. I'm pretty sure I saw a gargoyle wink at me. Become increasingly aware of how many tourists there are. The magic slowly starts to die.
- Evening: Find a Fado restaurant in the Bairro Alto. The food is meh, the singing is… powerful. The music is so sad, and the lights are low; suddenly I'm crying. Embarrassingly so. This is the authentic, messy, emotional core of the Portuguese experience. I don’t even understand most of the lyrics, but it digs deep. Order another glass of wine to deal with the emotions. Stumble back to the apartment, humming a sad tune, and feeling deeply, deeply, alive.
Day 3: Pastel de Nata Pilgrimage & Belém Bliss (with a Side of Sunburn)
- Morning: The sole purpose of this morning? Pastel de Nata. The original. From Pastéis de Belém. This is non-negotiable. Queue is long. Worth. Every. Second. The custard is perfect, the pastry is flaky, the cinnamon… well, it's the reason I exist. Stuff myself silly. Feel a wave of pure, unadulterated joy wash over me. Consider moving to Lisbon permanently just for these pastries.
- Mid-Morning: Explore Belém. Visit the Belém Tower (beautiful, but slightly less impressive after the Jerónimos Monastery, honestly). Walk along the river. Get totally, utterly, ridiculously sunburned. Forget sunscreen. Again. The sun is fierce. My skin is not. Regret hits. Consider wearing the azulejo as a shield.
- Lunch: Eat a light lunch. Because of all the Pastel de Nata.
- Afternoon: Spend an hour staring at the Discoveries Monument. Wondering what it would have been like to be a Portuguese explorer back in the day. Probably terrifying. Appreciate the bravery and the history.
- Late Afternoon: Take a ferry across the Tagus River. Watch the sunset over Lisbon. The light is golden and magical. It's possibly the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Feel a pang of sadness knowing I'll have to leave someday.
- Evening: Wander through the Santa Catarina viewpoint in the Bairro Alto. It’s a gorgeous view that’s packed with people. There’s a guy playing the guitar. The energy is fantastic. And the sunburn is killing me.
- Late Night: Go to bed early in a state of sunburned bliss and profound exhaustion.
Day 4: Shopping and Last-Minute Panic (aka, Lisbon, You're Breaking My Heart)
- Morning: Hit up some of the shops in the Chiado district, trying to find some unique souvenirs. Spend way too much money on handmade soaps that smell like the ocean (because, feelings). Realize I still haven't bought anything for anyone. Panic sets in.
- Lunch: Find a little cafe in the Chiado. Order a simple lunch.
- Afternoon: Go to a record shop and buy a Fado record. Realize I do not have a record player. Consider buying a record player. Convince myself I will get one when I'm in Lisbon permanently.
- Evening: Find a place to eat and go over all the food. Decide what to do on my last night.
- Late Night: I wish and hope that there will be time for me to keep exploring. Lisbon, you have captured my heart.
- Departure Day: Head out to the airport, sad to leave.
Imperfections, Observations & Quirks:
- The trams are magical, but also terrifying. Embrace the chaos.
- Learn a few basic Portuguese phrases. You'll feel like a superstar, even if you butcher them.
- Don't be afraid to get lost. That's where the magic happens.
- Sunscreen is your friend. Trust me on this one.
- Pastel de Nata is a religion. Worship accordingly.
- Lisbon makes you feel deeply, intensely, everything. Be prepared for the feels.
This itinerary isn't perfect. It's messy, it's emotional, and it's mine. And that's what makes it perfect. Now go forth,
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Lisbon Luxury: Comtesse Lisbonne Apartment - Your Dream Stay Awaits! (Or Does It?) – A Messy FAQs
Okay, spill. Is this Comtesse Lisbonne place REALLY as fabulous as it looks in the photos? I'm talking Instagram-worthy or a total facade?
Alright, buckle up, buttercup. The photos? Yeah, they’re…accurate-ish. Let’s be real, everyone spruces things up a bit for the camera. But the bones of the place? Stunning. Think sunlight streaming through gigantic windows, those gorgeous, old-world tiles… it's *almost* enough to make you forgive the questionable taste in throw pillows (more on that later).
I walked in, and for about five glorious minutes, felt like Audrey Hepburn. Seriously, the initial "Oh my god, I live here!" moment was pure gold. Then the reality of packing and unpacking set in, and I remembered I actually LIVE in a place with a *functioning* dryer.
What's the deal with the location? Is it actually *in* the heart of things, or just "a short walk" like every other rental claims?
Okay, this is where things get interesting. Comtesse Lisbonne is pretty centrally located. "A short walk" is true, but... it's *Lisbon*. "Short" means "downhill on the way TO something fun, uphill carrying groceries and regretting every croissant consumed on the way BACK." Expect some leg work. Trust me. My quads were screaming by the end of the first week.
And the best part? The "cobblestone streets" they brag about? Charming, yes. Ankle-breakers, also yes. Wear comfortable shoes. And maybe pack a knee brace, just in case. You’ve been warned.
The kitchen – is it actually equipped, or just a fancy-looking microwave and a sad little fridge? I actually *cook*.
Okay, the kitchen is…decent. It's not a Michelin-star chef's dream workspace, but it's functional. You've got a good oven, a decent stovetop (though the instructions were in Portuguese, which, you know, good luck with that). The fridge, surprisingly, was spacious enough for my endless supply of Pastel de Nata. Crucial.
The main problem? The lack of decent knives. Seriously, butter knives would have been more effective. I ended up buying my own cheap little paring knife from a local store, which I promptly lost. So yeah, pack a good knife. Or be prepared to saw your way through tomatoes with a butter knife. Your call.
Let's talk about the bathroom. Is the water pressure a dribble? Hot water? The *essentials*!
The bathroom… ah, the bathroom. It was… a mixed bag. The water pressure was actually surprisingly decent, which is a win! Hot water? Mostly. Except for that one day when I was looking forward to a long, hot shower after a tough day of walking, and it turned ice cold mid-rinse. That was… memorable. Let’s just say I’m still traumatized. Bring a backup plan, in case a cold shower becomes your reality. And a small fluffy towel: they were stingy with the towels!
What about the noise? Lisbon's a lively city. Will I be able to sleep?
Noise... Oh, *noise*. Lisbon is LOUD. It's part of the charm, right? The trams clanging, the conversations spilling out of cafes, the late-night Fado music (which is beautiful, but after a few hours, you just want to sleep.) Comtesse Lisbonne is reasonably well-insulated, but don't expect silence. I recommend earplugs if you value your sleep. And maybe a healthy dose of acceptance that you’re in the heart of a vibrant city, so some noise is inevitable.
Side note: the neighbor next door sometimes seemed to *practice* tap dancing. Seriously. Every. Dang. Morning. That was… an experience.
What about the building itself? Is it safe and secure?
Security? Yes, it seemed safe. Good locks, secure entry. But, and this is a tiny detail, but it illustrates the… character… of apartments in Portugal: the building door was one of those old, creaky things that closes very slowly. I spent a lot of time just standing there, waiting for it to *finally* shut behind me. (It was probably my fault. I probably didn’t pull it hard enough). Just… a little something to keep in mind.
Housekeeping? Is it included, and is it any good?
Housekeeping? Yes, it was included. And… well… Let's just say it was functional. They tidied up, changed the towels (eventually; sometimes the timing was a bit…off). But don't expect a deep clean every single day. Think more "surface level" maintenance. I suspect there's a lot of love for the furniture but little for the dust bunnies.
I once dropped a whole container of glitter (don't ask) in the living room. It took three days to completely remove every last speck. So, you know, test the cleaners on the glitter, I guess.
Okay, the "quirks." Dish it! Tell me about the things that *aren't* in the brochure!
Alright. Here's the unfiltered truth… The throw pillows. Oh, the *pillows*. I'm pretty sure they were selected by a committee of grandmas who'd never seen a modern design magazine. Floral prints, clashing colours, some things upholstered in…something resembling felt. They were so… *much*. I spent the first day rearranging them, trying to make them blend in. I gave up.
Also, the internet. Don't expect lightning-fast speeds. It's perfectly adequate for basic browsing and streaming, but, you know, there were moments of buffering. Especially when I was, ahem, *researching* local gelato shops. Priorities.
And the elevator… tiny. Like, *really* tiny. And slow. Prepare to climb stairs. Or, be patient. Both are good options. It adds to the charm, right?
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