Escape to Paradise: DAS GERSTL's Alpine Retreat Awaits in Italy!
Escape to Paradise: DAS GERSTL's Alpine Retreat Awaits in Italy! - A Review That's Actually Real (and Totally Honest)
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because we're not just talking about a hotel review here. We're diving headfirst into the glorious, slightly chaotic, and utterly unforgettable experience that is DAS GERSTL's Alpine Retreat in Italy. Forget the polished brochure, folks. This is the real deal. I’ve just returned, and my brain is still humming with Tyrolean charm and, honestly, a slight craving for strudel.
Let's get down to brass tacks, shall we?
First, the Vibe (and the Elephant in the Room - Accessibility)
Okay, I'm gonna be brutally honest right off the bat. Accessibility isn't this place's strong suit. While they do list facilities for disabled guests, the reality feels a little…mountainous. Consider this (Accessibility, Wheelchair accessible): It's an Alpine retreat. Think cobblestone pathways, charmingly uneven terrain, and a whole lotta hills. So, if mobility is a major concern, do your homework before you book. Call them, ask specifics. Don’t assume!
The Digital Detox (With a Twist): Internet, Oh Internet!
Internet Access, Free Wi-Fi in All Rooms!, Internet, Internet [LAN], Internet services: Okay, the good news is – you're mostly covered. Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! is a big win, and it actually works, unlike some places where it's a ghostly whisper of a signal. I did notice the Internet [LAN] option too, which I didn't use, but good to know it's there, for those old-school tech wizards. Wi-Fi in public areas is also decent.
The thing is, while the tech is good, you’re going there to escape, right? To breathe in that crisp mountain air and disconnect. I found myself getting lost in the sheer beauty of the place and accidentally forgetting to check my emails for hours on end. It was…blissful.
The Good Stuff: Bliss, Bliss, and More Bliss (Ways to Relax & Spa)
Okay, now we get to the reason you're actually considering this place. Das Gerstl IS a spa resort. Seriously. It's an honest-to-goodness, "I-need-a-week-of-indulgence-and-then-some" kind of place.
The Spa (Spa, Spa/sauna, Sauna, Steamroom, Foot bath, Body scrub, Body wrap, Massage): This is where they really shine. This place is an oasis of relaxation. The saunas alone are worth the trip. The sauna is what I’m talking about: it’s the real deal, not some sad little afterthought. The steamroom is perfect for melting away the stress of city life. The foot bath was life-affirming. Honestly, I spent a good chunk of my time just bouncing between the sauna, steamroom, and the pool. Did I mention the massage?! I had one massage. I loved the massage. And then I had it again. And again. And then another one. The body scrub and body wrap are there too, for those who want even more pampering.
The Pool with View, Swimming Pool, Swimming pool [outdoor]: Imagine floating in a warm, inviting pool with the dramatic peaks of the Alps towering above you. Seriously. The Pool with a View, right? It was pure magic. The outdoor pool? Pure bliss, especially on a sunny day.
Fitness center, Gym/fitness: Confession: I thought about the fitness center. I walked past it. I looked at it. I then went back to the spa, the pool and the sun. But hey, it's there if you’re feeling really virtuous.
Food, Glorious Food (Dining & Drinking)
This place is about more than just massages and saunas. Das Gerstl is also a serious eating place. This will be an entire essay, not just a blurb.
Restaurants, A la carte in restaurant, Asian cuisine in restaurant, Buffet in restaurant, Coffee/tea in restaurant, Desserts in restaurant, International cuisine in restaurant, Salad in restaurant, Soup in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant, Western cuisine in restaurant: The restaurants are phenomenal. And seriously; they have it all. I was surprised they have Asian cuisine in restaurant. But how not to be? Everything is top-notch, from the hearty soups to the delicate desserts. The buffet in restaurant is a glorious spread of local cheeses, freshly baked bread, and all sorts of deliciousness.
Breakfast [buffet], Breakfast service, Western breakfast, Asian breakfast: The breakfast is another highlight. The Breakfast [buffet] is amazing, with a huge selection of continental and even an Asian breakfast if you're feeling adventurous. They have Western breakfast too. They even have the option to have something delivered to their breakfast service.
Restaurants, Bar, Coffee shop, Poolside bar, Happy hour: A bar! A Poolside bar! These are all excellent for winding down after a day of hiking or spa-ing. The Coffee shop is excellent for a quick pick-me-up. The Happy hour is a great deal.
Room service [24-hour], Bottle of water: You can't go wrong with a little in-room indulgence.
Cleanliness and Safety (and the Pandemic Reality)
Okay, let's be real. Safety is a big deal these days. Cleanliness and safety is very high. I'm happy to report, Das Gerstl takes it seriously, without being overbearing.
- Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Hand sanitizer, Hygiene certification, Individually-wrapped food options, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Room sanitization opt-out available, Rooms sanitized between stays, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Staff trained in safety protocol, Sterilizing equipment: All excellent. They did a great job following all the necessary protocols.
Everything Else (Services & Conveniences)
This is where the hotel really shines with a focus on service.
- Air conditioning in public area, Audio-visual equipment for special events, Babysitting service, Babysitting service, Bicycle parking, Business facilities, Car park [free of charge], Cash withdrawal, Concierge, Contactless check-in/out, Convenience store, Currency exchange, Daily housekeeping, Doctor/nurse on call, Doorman, Dry cleaning, Elevator, Essential condiments, Facilities for disabled guests, Food delivery, Gift/souvenir shop, Indoor venue for special events, Invoice provided, Ironing service, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings, Meeting stationery, On-site event hosting, Outdoor venue for special events, Projector/LED display, Safety deposit boxes, Seminars, Shrine, Smoking area, Terrace, Wi-Fi for special events, Xerox/fax in business center: They seriously. offer everything. The Concierge was incredibly helpful. The Daily housekeeping was spot on.
For the Kids
- Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal: I did not have a child with me, so I don't know this from experience.
The Rooms (Available in all rooms):
- Additional toilet, Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathroom phone, Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Carpeting, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Interconnecting room(s) available, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Safety/security feature, Satellite/cable channels, Scale, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Visual alarm, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens
Getting Around
- Airport transfer, Bicycle parking, Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site], Car power charging station, Taxi service, Valet parking
Getting Around (and what they did NOT mention!)
This is where things get a little…characterful.
- Airport transfer: The airport transfer was a smooth, friendly, and comfortable ride.
- Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site] parking is free.
- Taxi service, Valet parking: All available.
The Quirks (Because Every Place Has Them):
- The soundproofing in my room wasn't perfect.
- There were no pets. Sad.
The Verdict:
DAS GERSTL is pure, unadulterated escapism. It's a place to recharge, to reconnect with yourself and nature, and to indulge in a level of relaxation that will leave you feeling like a whole new person. It'
Escape to Paradise: Hilton Vacation Club Riviera Beach & Shores Awaits!
Alrighty, buckle up, buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into my potentially-disastrous, but hopefully-glorious, Alpine adventure at DAS GERSTL Alpine Retreat in Malles Venosta, Italy. This isn't your polished travel guide; it's more like… a travel diary being scribbled on a slightly damp napkin in the middle of a particularly beautiful, and potentially stressful, moment. Here goes:
Day 1: Arrival and Altitude Hysteria (Maybe?)
- Morning (like really early, thanks jet lag): Landed in Innsbruck. The Alps! They're… big. And pointy. Thought I was prepared, but the sheer scale of them made me briefly question my life choices, and my ability to carry my ridiculously oversized backpack. (Note to self: pack smaller next time.) The train journey to Malles Venosta was breathtaking. Literally. Took me a few inhalations to compensate for the mountain air, which, by the way, feels suspiciously pure and crisp. I might have shed a tiny tear. Don't judge.
- Afternoon: Arrival at DAS GERSTL. Oh. My. God. I'd seen the photos, but they don't do it justice. It's… stunning. Like, magazine-cover level stunning. The smell of pine and something vaguely floral (I think it's lavender?) hit me the moment I stepped out of the car. Check-in was smooth, in that slightly awkward, "my Italian is rusty, and their English is fluent but delivered with a charmingly thick accent" kind of way. Found my room. The view from the balcony nearly killed me. In a good way. (Spoiler alert: I spent the next hour just standing there, slightly slack-jawed, feeling profoundly humbled.)
- Evening: Dinner. Oh, that dinner. I'm not even going to try and describe it in detail. Just imagine the most perfect, melt-in-your-mouth, locally sourced, perfectly seasoned anything you can think of. Pasta, of course. A ridiculously delicious mushroom risotto. Some sort of regional sausage that tasted like heaven in a casing. And wine. Local wine, that was so smooth I nearly wept again. (This altitude thing is affecting me more than I thought…) Tried the spa. Failed. The sauna was so hot that I lasted for a minute. I am already a failure.
Day 2: Hiking, Humiliation, and Heavenly Strudel
- Morning: Hiking. Okay, let's be honest, more like a gentle stroll up a very slight incline. I, in my infinite wisdom, decided to wear my brand-new hiking boots. Which, it turns out, hadn't been broken in. Cue the blisters. Cue the whimper. Cue the sheepish retreat (thank god for the retreat, I could not get back to this point without assistance). The scenery? Unreal. Picture postcard perfect. Picture me, hobbling along like a wounded penguin. (I may have also sworn at a particularly stubborn rock.)
- Afternoon: Spa again. This time, armed with copious amounts of blister cream and a slightly bruised ego. The pool was fantastic. I am officially in love with any pool that allows me to sip a cocktail in the sun. Then, the massage. Oh, the massage. It was so good that I'm pretty sure I levitated for a few minutes.
- Evening: Apple strudel lesson. Yes. You read that right. Me. In a kitchen, surrounded by Italians, attempting to make strudel. It was a disaster of epic proportions. My dough resembled something that had been run over by a truck. However, the chef was wonderful, and the final product? Surprisingly edible. (Even if it wasn't exactly Instagram-worthy). I ate three pieces. No regrets. The chef winked. I blushed.
Day 3: Doubling Down on Spa-ing and the Great Cheese Crisis of 2024
- Morning: Deep dive into the spa. This is where my inner sloth comes to shine. Seriously, if I could live in that spa, I would. The sauna, the steam room, the pools, the everything. I spent a glorious few hours just melting into a puddle of relaxation. I may have even found a new life calling: Professional Spa Patron.
- Afternoon: Went to try to find some cheese. The local cheese shop was closed (insert dramatic gasp here). This felt like the end of the world. It was also the best thing that could have happened. I went to a different shop, I was able to try all sorts of cheeses, and spent an hour and 15 minutes talking to the owner about his kids and the importance of good cheese.
- Evening: Another amazing dinner. This time, there was this amazing polenta. Polenta, you guys! Who knew? (Apparently, everyone in Italy, except me.) And then, the wine. The wine just kept flowing. (Note to self: pace yourself. You're at altitude, you idiot.)
Day 4: Saying Goodbye (and Secretly Planning My Return)
- Morning: Attempted a slightly more ambitious hike. This time, wearing sensible shoes. And it was… amazing! The views! The fresh air! The lack of blisters! I think I might actually be getting the hang of this hiking thing. (Or maybe it's just the wine talking.)
- Afternoon: Packing. Sigh. The dreaded act of returning to reality. Trying to savor every last moment. Every last sight. Every last smell of pine and lavender. I may have even bought a few jars of the local honey (and several bottles of that incredible wine – don't judge me).
- Evening: Farewell dinner. More amazing food. More incredible wine. More moments of quiet contemplation, and the realization that I'd found something special here. Then the realization that I will be back. I will. I'll bring a bigger suitcase and try to learn some more Italian. (And maybe, just maybe, I'll finally master that strudel).
DAS GERSTL, you beautiful, magical place. You've broken me. And I'm absolutely, positively, fine with that. It's good to be broken.
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Escape to Paradise: DAS GERSTL's Alpine Retreat Awaits in Italy! (Chaos and Glory Edition)
Okay, seriously, is it *really* paradise at DAS GERSTL? My Instagram feed is making me suspicious. Is it all just…perfect?
Alright, let's be real. Instagram? Lies, damn lies, and filtered sunlight. Paradise? Well, it depends. DAS GERSTL? It *gets* close. Like, shockingly close. The Dolomites? Unbelievably stunning. I’m talking jaw-dropping, make-you-forget-your-phone-exists gorgeous. But perfect? Nah. And thank goodness for that! Think of it this way: perfect is boring.
Let me tell you a little story. First day there? Walking out of the room, fully expecting to be breath taken. But the first thing I saw as I walked in? A GIANT, and I mean *massive*, spider. A hairy, eight-legged, "I'm-gonna-eat-your-face" spider. I screamed like a banshee. My husband – bless his heart – ran in with a shoe, and after about five minutes of coordinated panic, the beast was vanquished. Turns out, the cleaner had forgotten a window open. So yeah, spider. Paradise has spiders. And occasionally, you scream.
But you know what? That spider, that tiny imperfection, somehow made the view from our balcony *even* more beautiful. Because you quickly realize these places are about *experience*, not just perfection.
What's the deal with the food? My stomach is my guide. Is it worth it?
Oh, the food. My *god*. Worth it? Oh, honey, YES. Prepare to loosen your belt. Seriously. I think I gained five pounds in pure, unadulterated joy. It's regional, it's fresh, it's artfully plated, and it tastes like…well, it tastes like *life*.
The breakfast buffet? Devine! Mountains of fresh breads, local honey (sweet, sweet honey!), eggs cooked every possible way…I swear, I spent the first hour each morning just wandering around in a food-induced haze. And the dinner? Multi-course masterpieces! I particularly remember one melt-in-your-mouth risotto, and I don't usually talk about risotto, but this stuff was another level of delicious. I think I wept a little. Okay, maybe I *did*.
It's not just dinner at DAS GERSTL, it’s dinner as an experience.
I'm not exactly a mountain goat. How strenuous is the hiking? Or is it all just…walking?
Okay, so I'm more of a "gently stroll through a garden" type of person than an "ascend Everest" kind of person. The hiking options? They're varied. Really varied. There are walks that are basically strolls through wildflower-filled meadows (bliss!), right up to trails that will have you panting and questioning your life choices.
Here's my (highly biased) advice: go for the lower-altitude stuff first. Ease into it. One day, my husband, bless his heart, insisted on a "moderate difficulty" hike. Moderate? More like "mildly mortifying." It involved a rather steep incline, some slippery bits, and me clinging to rocks, whimpering. It involved a time where I thought I was going to die on the mountainside with my husband, and a pair of hiking boots my feet still don't forgive.
The views? Spectacular. The satisfaction? Immense. The memory? *Forever*. So, go prepared. Take snacks. And maybe, just maybe, stick to the strolls until you're confident in your inner mountain goat/hiker wannabe.
Spa day? Essential or overrated? My shoulders are screaming for mercy.
Oh, the spa! Do not even *think* about skipping it. Seriously. It’s not just a spa; it's a whole other level of relaxation. Think warm pools, saunas with views of the mountains, treatments that will melt away your stress like butter on a hot croissant.
I had a massage there. That was an experience unto itself. I'm pretty sure I fell asleep, drooled a little, and woke up feeling like I'd been reborn.
My advice? Book a treatment (or three). Then, spend the rest of the day just floating between the saunas and pools. Seriously, do it. You deserve it. Your shoulders will thank you. Your entire body will thank you. Your mental well-being will thank you. Just go.
Is it family-friendly? I've got kids that are…energetic.
Depends on your definition of "family-friendly." DAS GERSTL definitely welcomes families. They have family rooms, activities, and generally, a very welcoming atmosphere.
However, it's not like a Disney resort, with screaming children and all the noise on loop. It's a place for well-behaved humans who can appreciate the beauty of the mountains and the fine cuisine.
So, if your kids are the type who can handle a bit of calm and quiet, then yes, it's great. If they're the kind who like to run wild, scream, and throw things, then maybe think twice. And don't even get me started if you have a "professional whiner".
What's the vibe? Is it all…stuffy? Or relaxed?
Relaxed, mostly. Think chic mountain retreat rather than ridiculously formal. The staff is incredibly friendly and helpful. You could see people wandering around in their robes, eating lunch, and you wouldn't bat an eyelash.
That said, it's not a "anything goes" kind of place. People generally dress nicely for dinner (but not super formal - think nice casual). I was so tired of over-dressed, pretentious places.
So, the vibe is: gorgeous scenery, delicious food, impeccable service, and a generally chill, unpretentious atmosphere. Perfection.
Is it worth the money? It looks…expensive.
Yes. Sigh. Okay, yes. It's an investment. But...worth it.
Look, I’m not going to lie. It's not cheap. But you're paying for an experience, not just accommodation. You're paying for the view, the service, the food, the complete, utter escape from reality. I spent a little more than I wanted, but I have never been so satisfied with a hotelInstant Hotel Search
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