Escape to Paradise: El Careyes Club & Residences Awaits
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we're about to dive DEEP into a review of Escape to Paradise: El Careyes Club & Residences. Forget the brochure polish; I'm giving you the STRAIGHT SCOOP, the warts and all, the "did I really enjoy my vacation?" REALNESS. This ain't your grandma's hotel review.
The Premise: Escape to Paradise, Really? Let's See.
Look, the name sets a high bar, right? "Escape to Paradise." Ugh, the pressure! So, El Careyes… is it a slice of heaven or a glorified brochure photo? Let's break it down, category by agonizing category (because that's how I roll).
(SEO Alert! Keywords incoming: El Careyes Club & Residences, luxury Mexico resort, accessible travel, spa vacation, family friendly resort, romantic getaway, beachfront hotel)
Accessibility: A Mixed Bag. Like Life.
Okay, this is important, and honestly, a little frustrating. The website talks accessibility - and I'm all about that! But "talks" and "walks" are sadly different animals. I'd strongly advise contacting them before you book to confirm the specifics for your needs because I read some reviews that suggest it wasn't perfect. Not ideal. We're talking elevators (a must), ramps (hopefully, not just stairs of doom), and accessible rooms (again, confirm!). Still, I'm giving them a cautious thumbs up because they try, and that’s a start.
(SEO: Wheelchair accessible, facilities for disabled guests, accessible travel)
On-site Accessible Restaurants/Lounges: Ugh, again: ask. I did my best to find solid info, but it's not always clear. I’d want to know: is there a ramp into every restaurant and bar area? Are tables at a good height? Detailed questions about restaurant accessibility are crucial.
Internet: Bless the Free Wi-Fi Gods!
FREE WIFI. Everywhere! In my room! (Woohoo!) The speed was… passable. (Look, I’m a digital nomad; I need my bandwidth!) There was also LAN in the rooms (remember that?), but honestly, who uses that anymore? My kids wouldn’t even know how to plug it in!
(SEO: Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!, Internet, Wi-Fi in public areas)
Things to Do, Ways to Relax: My Head is Spinning! (In a Good Way)
Okay, THIS is where El Careyes shines. The sheer VOLUME of options is dizzying.
- Spa Day, the Over-the-Top Experience: Let me tell you about the spa. I indulged in a body scrub and a body wrap. Pure, unadulterated bliss. I may or may not have fallen asleep during the wrap. (Don't judge me; I was relaxed!) The sauna and steam room? Divine. The massage? Forget about it, I think I went into a coma. The pool with a view? OH MY GOD. The view itself was worth the trip!
- Fitness Center: I looked at it. That was my workout. Fine, I did some yoga on my balcony, but that barely counts.
- Pools Galore: The outdoor pool was breathtaking, but I was more impressed by my room's pool than the pool's view.
(SEO: Spa, massage, swimming pool [outdoor], sauna, steamroom, Body scrub, Body wrap, Fitness center, Foot bath, Gym/fitness, Pool with view)
Cleanliness and Safety: Breathe Easier (Hopefully)
Sanitization protocols are everywhere. Hand sanitizer, masks everywhere, and staff wearing masks all the time. They tried. I saw signs for anti-viral cleaning products, and rooms were probably sanitized between stays.(I hope so). The staff seemed genuinely concerned about hygiene, which is reassuring—especially because Covid is still a thing—we can’t forget that! They offer opt-out from room cleaning, which I always appreciate!
(SEO: Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Hand sanitizer, Hygiene certification, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Room sanitization opt-out available, Rooms sanitized between stays, Staff trained in safety protocol)
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: My Waistline Suffered Beautifully.
- Restaurants: SO MANY CHOICES! A la carte, buffets, international cuisine… I swear, I gained five pounds just reading the menus. I’m not a huge buffet person (germaphobe, here), but the breakfast buffet was actually pretty good, and the food was always replenished.
- Room Service: 24/7. Need I say more? Sometimes, you just want to eat pizza in your bathrobe.
- Drinks: Poolside bar, happy hour… I sampled everything. Water bottles are provided.
- Vegetarian: I’m not vegetarian, but I did notice that they had vegetarian options. That's a plus for the herbivores out there.
- Anecdote: I once walked into the coffee shop 3 times a day for a cappuccino. I even found people that were always there!
(SEO: Restaurants, Room service [24-hour], Poolside bar, Asian cuisine in restaurant, Bar, Breakfast [buffet], Coffee shop, Desserts in restaurant, Happy hour, International cuisine in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant)
Services and Conveniences: They Think of Everything (Almost)
- Concierge: Super helpful, even though I may have asked them to find a replacement for my lost beach hat 10 times.
- Daily housekeeping: My room was always spotless. Too much!
- Doorman: Smiling and helpful.
- Cashless payment service: Fine by me! Don’t want to carry cash!
- Food delivery: They have food delivery. Perfect for days I was too lazy to leave my room!
- Gift shop: I bought a cheesy t-shirt. Don't judge, it was fun!
- Family Friendly: There were kids EVERYWHERE. If you hate kids, maybe this isn't the place for you, but the kids were well-behaved and having a blast!
(SEO: Concierge, Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Elevator, Facilities for disabled guests, Gift/souvenir shop, Luggage storage, Safety deposit boxes)
For the Kids: They're Basically Running the Place (But in a Good Way)
El Careyes absolutely caters to families. Babysitting? Check. Kids' menus? You bet. Kids' facilities? Again, YES! My kids loved the pools. There were so many other kids around. They were thrilled! They didn't leave the hotel or talk to me for the whole week!
(SEO: Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal)
Rooms: My Kingdom for a Comfortable Bed!
- Comfort and Amenities: Air conditioning was a lifesaver! My bed? Heavenly. The blackout curtains? Essential. The mini-bar? Dangerous!
- I Love the Toiletries! Quality toiletries always make me feel pampered.
- Some flaws! The TV sometimes froze on me and the Internet sometimes was slow.
(SEO: Air conditioning, Bathrobes, Blackout curtains, Coffee/tea maker, Hair dryer, In-room safe box, Internet access – wireless, Mini bar, Non-smoking, Private bathroom, Refrigerator, Safety/security feature, Satellite/cable channels, Seating area, Shower, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Wi-Fi [free])
Getting Around: Smooth Sailing (Mostly)
- Airport Transfer: Made the travel super easy!
- Car Park: Free, which always makes me happy!
- Other Transport: Cabs are available, but mostly you’ll just want to stay put and enjoy the resort!
(SEO: Airport transfer, Car park [free of charge], Taxi service)
The Verdict: Did I Find Paradise? Kind Of.
El Careyes? It's not perfect. It has its little imperfections—like all things (and people!). But it has a lot going for it. You can, if you’re willing to put in the little legwork of confirming accessibility. But, it's luxurious, the food is amazing, the spa is divine, and the staff is wonderful. It's a great place to unwind, indulge, and escape, even if paradise isn't quite exactly what the brochure promised. My soul is still recovering.
And now for the hard sell… because you just KNOW I’m going to offer an offer that is too good to be true!
Escape to Paradise: El Careyes Club & Residences Awaits - Your Ultimate Getaway (But with a Twist!)
Feeling that post-holiday slump? Need to recharge your batteries, or just get away from it all? Then a trip to El Careyes Club & Residences could be the perfect antidote!
Here's Why You Should Book NOW:
- Unrivaled Relaxation: Dreamy spa treatments, stunning pools, and breathtaking views. You'll melt into marshmallow mode in no time.
- Culinary Delights: From gourmet dining to casual poolside snacks, you can eat your way to happiness. (Trust me, I tried.)
- **Family Fun (or Romantic Bliss
Okay, buckle up buttercup, because this isn't your perfectly-curated Instagram travel guide. This is real life, Careyes-style. I'm talking sunburnt shoulders, questionable decisions fueled by too much tequila, and the unwavering conviction that every day is a good day for a mango. Here's my messy, glorious Careyes Club & Residences itinerary. Grab a margarita (or two), you’ll need it.
Day 1: Arrival and Existential Dread (But Make it Beachy)
- 9:00 AM - Arrival at Puerto Vallarta Airport (PVR): Ugh, airports. The fluorescent lighting, the soul-crushing waiting areas… but WAIT! Our transfer driver, a guy named Ricardo with a suspiciously cheerful disposition, is holding a sign with my name scrawled on it in what appears to be crayon. Apparently, someone (me) forgot to clarify the exact spelling of my name. Close enough, Ricardo! We're off!
- 11:30 AM - Arrival at El Careyes Club & Residences: HOLY. MOLY. Picture this: a winding road, cliffside villas that look like they’ve been plucked straight from a James Bond movie (because, seriously, did I just see an Aston Martin?), the turquoise ocean stretching out forever. I think I actually gasped. Turns out, the existential dread I'd been cultivating on the plane was immediately replaced with a potent cocktail of awe and the sudden, overwhelming urge to buy a caftan.
- 12:00 PM - Check in & Villa Exploration: Okay, so, the villa. Let’s be honest, it’s not a villa, it's a freaking palace. Infinity pool, private beach access, a kitchen bigger than my New York apartment. I immediately start imagining myself as a glamorous, jet-setting recluse. This fantasy lasts approximately 30 minutes, until I realize I haven’t eaten and am on the verge of a hangry meltdown.
- 1:00 PM - Lunch at Playa Rosa: Oh. My. God. The food! Fresh fish tacos, ceviche that explodes with flavor, and a margarita that could put you in a coma (in the best way possible). I swear, I could live on this. We meet some other guests. One couple, incredibly tanned and with matching Speedos, somehow managed to look effortlessly chic. Another couple, a bit more relatable, spent the entire meal arguing about the best way to apply sunscreen. I think that's my kind of people.
- 3:00 PM - Beach Time (and the Great Sunscreen Debacle): Right, time to work on my tan (or, you know, get a nice, crispy burn). I apply sunscreen. Or, attempt to apply sunscreen. I'm already sweating, sand is getting everywhere, and I'm pretty sure I missed a crucial spot (hello, shoulders!). I decide to embrace the inevitable and just… go for it.
- 5:00 PM - Sunset Drinks at Casa Naranja: The sunset. The reason you come to Careyes. The sky turns every shade of orange, pink, and purple imaginable. The cocktails are strong (thank the lord). I chat with a silver-haired man with the most incredible tan, and a charming disposition. He tells me he's been coming here for decades. I mentally add "buy a beach house in Careyes" to my list of life goals.
- 7:00 PM - Dinner at Restaurant Cocodrillo: The place is buzzing, full of the aforementioned beautiful people in flowing dresses. The food is great, but honestly, I'm still riding the margarita high, so everything is amazing. I end up chatting with a guy who claims to be a treasure hunter. I may or may not have believed him.
- 9:00 PM - Stargazing and Existential Reflection (again): Back at the villa, away from the lights, the stars are ridiculously brilliant. I start thinking about my life. About the time I nearly set the kitchen on fire making toast…and feel a sudden and profound appreciation for how incredibly lucky I am to be at this moment.
Day 2: Poolside Revelry and the Quest for the Perfect Margarita
- 9:00 AM - Wake Up & Regret… the Margarita(s): Okay, those margaritas were fun last night. But today I feel it. I’m talking heavy eyes and a general sense of bleh. Coffee, must have coffee. And lots of water.
- 10:00 AM - Pool Day at the Villa: The infinity pool, beckons. I spend the morning alternating between floating in the water and collapsing on a sunbed that feels suspiciously like heaven.
- 12:00 PM - Lunch at Playa Rosa (Again): Hey, if it ain't broke… Another round of tacos. This time, I remember to order extra guacamole.
- 1:30 PM - The Margarita Experiment: My mission for the afternoon: to find the PERFECT margarita. Seriously, the quest becomes all-consuming. I try them at various bars, subtly tweaking the recipes. Too much lime? Not enough tequila? The struggle is real. I think I get close, but I’m not entirely sure if my tastebuds are to be trusted at this point.
- 4:00 PM - Exploring the Beach Clubs: We got the golf cart for this one, which is fantastic! We cruise around, checking out the different beach clubs. Each with its own vibe, from the family-friendly to the ultra-chic. They're all amazing, but honestly, I've realized the infinity pool at my villa is pretty hard to beat.
- 6:00 PM - Sunset Stroll: Okay, I'm getting ambitious. We walk the beach at sunset. It's gorgeous, obviously.
- 7:30 PM - Dinner at a Restaurant (forgot to write it down): It was outside, by the water. I had seafood. It was delicious. The details are a bit hazy. I blame the margarita research.
- 9:00 PM - Stargazing (Again): The stars are mocking me.
Day 3: Exploring Careyes & the Art of Doing Absolutely Nothing With Purpose
- 9:00 AM - Late Start and a Sudden Urge to be Creative: Okay, I slept in. And yes, I'm still feeling the after-effects of the margarita experimentation. But this morning, something has ignited within me. Maybe it’s the sheer beauty of the place. Maybe it’s the post-margarita induced creativity. I try to draw. It’s a disaster. But I think I’m having fun.
- 10:00 AM - Explore the Town: Careyes is a small town. The center is like a small, vibrant village. We wander around, admiring the colorful buildings and the quirky art installations. We stop in a small gallery and buy a very strange piece of pottery. Again, I blame the margaritas.
- 12:00 PM - Lunch at Playa Rosa (What else?): This time, I befriend the waitstaff. They are patient, kind, and even offered a margarita recipe that might actually be perfect.
- 1:30 PM - Beach time. Again. (No shame): See previous notes. Sun. Ocean. Bliss.
- 3:00 PM - Horseback Riding on the Beach (Maybe?): Truthfully, I’m scared of horses. But I'm tempted. I chicken out. Maybe tomorrow.
- 4:00 PM - Napping on the Beach: Did I mention the sun?
- 6:00 PM - Sunset Cocktails and a Moment of Clarity: The sunset. The reason you come to Careyes. We're at a tiny bar, on top of a cliff. The bartender knows my name; he also knows how to make the perfect margarita. Life is, for once, not complicated.
- 7:30 PM - Farewell Dinner (Maybe): I'm not entirely sure where we went, I've lost track of the days. I'm pretty sure there was a fancy restaurant with seafood.
- 9:00 PM - Thinking if I can stay forever: Nope.
Day 4: Departure and the Promise of Returning (Eventually)
- 9:00 AM - Packing (The Sad Reality): Ugh. The worst part of any vacation. I attempt to organize my things, but it's a lost cause. I'm pretty sure I'm just going to throw everything in my suitcase and hope for the best.
- 10:00 AM - Final Swim in the Infinity Pool: One last dip. I try to burn this image into my brain.
- 11:00 AM - Breakfast at a Place: With a view. You'll see why I keep not writing down locations.
- 12:00 PM - Check Out: I'm not ready. But the lovely Ricardo is waiting.
- 1:00 PM - Departure from Puerto Vallarta (PVR): Goodbye, Careyes. You beautiful, messy, tequila-fueled paradise.
- Thoughts on the Plane: I'm already planning my return. And maybe I'll actually take that horseback riding lesson next year
So, El Careyes. Is it ACTUALLY paradise? Like, Instagram-worthy paradise?
Alright, let's address the elephant in the room: "Paradise." Look, the photos? Stunning. Blissful. Making you want to ditch your responsibilities and run for the nearest beach? Absolutely. El Careyes… *does* have its moments. That ridiculously pink castle? Iconic. The sunsets? Okay, fine, they *were* pretty spectacular. I’m not gonna lie, witnessing one from a cliffside bar with a ridiculously overpriced (but delicious) cocktail in hand… yeah, that was close to paradise. BUT... (and there's always a "but," isn't there?) it felt less like a spontaneous, unscripted frolic in heaven, and more like living inside an art gallery. Stunning, sterile, and... well, sometimes a little bit *overdone*. I mean, is anyone's life *really* that perfectly curated? Mine certainly isn't, and frankly, I found myself craving a little bit of chaos. You know, a *real* beach with sand you could actually *play* in. The whole thing felt a little... fragile. Like you might accidentally break something simply by existing there.
What's the vibe? Is it the place for a raging party or a quiet romantic getaway?
Ah, the vibe. Okay, so picture this: lots of very attractive people, tanned to perfection, gracefully sipping something colorful and fancy. And I mean *lots*. We're talking about a place that seems to be specifically designed to make you feel slightly underdressed, even if you're wearing your best linen. It's definitely more sophisticated than a spring break rager. Think: less beer pong, more "artistic discussions" and a general air of effortless wealth. Romantic getaway? YES! (Unless you are like me, and the couple is a little *too* touchy-feely, which can feel… odd.) I'd say you're probably more likely to find a secluded beach than a packed dance floor. Unless you're invited to THE party, which, let's be honest, I wasn't. And secretly, I think I was kinda relieved. I was there with my husband, and he does not like seeing people do that. Anyway, the point is: if you're looking for a place to feel fabulous and impress your date, El Careyes probably has something for you.
Tell me about the food! Is it worth the price tag?
Ah, the food! This is where things get… complicated. Look, the presentation is impeccable. The service is, for the most part, flawless. And yes, there were moments where I tasted something that genuinely made me close my eyes and sigh with pleasure. That grilled octopus, for example? Absolutely divine. But then... there's the price tag. Oof. Let me put it this way: My bank account whimpered for a week after. And honestly? Did every single dish live up to the hype? Nope. One particularly disappointing fish taco experience sticks in my mind - dry, flavorless, and honestly, I've had better from a street vendor. And the restaurant we went to every day, was way too expensive! The service was great, but the price? Oh, my god. I still have dreams about those tacos, and not in a good way! I mean, I'm a simple person, I don't understand why things have to be so expensive, it's just food! So, is it worth it? That depends on your budget, and your level of food snobbery. If you're willing to spend a fortune for *mostly* good food in a gorgeous setting… then, yeah, you'll probably enjoy it. But if you're like me and prioritize flavor over Instagram aesthetics, I recommend at least sneaking out for some tacos somewhere. Just saying.
What's the deal with the accommodations? Villas, residences, what should I expect?
Okay, the accommodations! This is where El Careyes really shines (and, let's be honest, where your bank account prepares for battle). We stayed in a villa, and I gotta say, WOW. Spacious? Understatement. Private pool? Check. Stunning ocean views? Double check. The villa was so big, I genuinely got lost a few times. Seriously! I was wandering around for twenty minutes one day, searching for the coffee maker. It was like exploring a small museum. The decoration was… well, you get the vibe. It was all very minimalist-chic. And clean! The cleanliness was honestly, spectacular. Never have I seen a villa so spotless. But, like, where do you even *start*? I'd suggest taking a tour, but I wouldn't. I guess, it's a luxury. But be prepared for the price tag. It's *not* for the faint of wallet. But, man, the views… the views were incredible. You could sit on the balcony all day with a book and a cocktail (preferably one you didn't have to pay a small fortune for) and be perfectly content.
What are the "can't-miss" activities? Beyond just lying on the beach (which, let's be honest, is probably enough).
Okay, activities. Beyond the obvious (sunbathing, swimming, pretending you're an effortlessly glamorous celebrity), there are options. You can go horseback riding (that sounds amazing, I passed), take a boat trip to hidden coves (this one, I did. Pretty nice.), or try your hand at watersports. But honestly? The "can't-miss" activity for me was… nothing. Seriously. Just *chilling*. Waking up slowly, enjoying the sunrise, reading a book, sipping coffee, and just... being. Don't feel pressured to cram your itinerary full of "experiences." Sometimes the best thing you can do is embrace the laziness. That said, the boat trip *was* pretty cool. I didn't realize that the water could be that blue, and the scenery was something else.
How are the beaches? Are they the perfect white sand you see in the photos?
The beaches… alright, let's get real. Some are amazing! Some are okay. Some are a little… well, they weren't exactly the pristine, untouched paradises of the marketing materials. Some were rocky, some were small, all of them were… crowded. I was expecting something like a movie, the kind that's only about your perfect experience, where everyone else is out of the frame. And while I enjoyed the ocean, the little patches of sand were not always the best. But hey, I guess if the beach was absolutely pristine, everyone would be there. And hey, the water *was* warm and blue… So, you know, not a *total* disaster. Depends on your beach expectations, I guess.
Are there any downsides? Anything I should be aware of before I go?
Downsides? Hmm… aside from the aforementioned price tag?Book Hotels Now
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