Escape to Paradise: Tarchon Luxury B&B, Tarquinia's Hidden Gem
Escape to Paradise: Tarchon Luxury B&B - My Unfiltered Review (and Why You NEED to Go!)
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because I'm about to spill the tea (or, more accurately, the expertly brewed cappuccino) on Escape to Paradise: Tarchon Luxury B&B in Tarquinia. This isn't just a review; it's a love letter, a rant, and a desperate plea to go there before I have to sell a kidney to afford another trip. Get ready for the real deal, because this place… well, it got under my skin. In a good way. Mostly.
Let's get one thing straight: I'm not a travel writer. I'm just a regular person who loves a good hotel. And this one? This one’s special.
First Impressions (and My Near-Disaster with the Luggage)
Driving up, the B&B practically oozes charm. Think sun-drenched terracotta, bougainvillea spilling everywhere, and a feeling that you’ve stumbled onto a secret garden. The accessibility is pretty solid, which is a huge plus (though I didn't personally need those facilities, it's great to know they're offered - and the elevator helps with the luggage, believe me!). I nearly ripped my rotator cuff hauling my suitcase up the (admittedly gorgeous) stone steps, so maybe I was just too eager to make my way in.
Cleanliness and Safety: More Than Just a Checklist
The word "clean" doesn't quite cover it. Everything gleamed. And the anti-viral cleaning products? I’m picturing the staff doing a full-scale decontamination after every guest checks out (which, honestly, is a comfort). The daily disinfection in common areas and room sanitization between stays? I felt safer there than in my own apartment. They've REALLY got this down, especially with the ever present hand sanitizer and the whole slew of things. This is especially vital. The room sanitization opt-out available is nice too, if you fancy that, but the safety standards are what got me.
Room for Improvement (and a Glorious Bed!):
My room (a gorgeous non-smoking sanctuary with air conditioning) was a masterclass in understated elegance. Free Wi-Fi? Check (and it actually worked!). The daily housekeeping was impeccable; my bed felt like a cloud, with the fluffiest towels and softest linens. The blackout curtains were a lifesaver for those midday naps.
Now, the slightly messy bits were the bathroom phone. In this day in age? Kinda useless. But the hair dryer was powerful, which is a small but very important thing. I'm not ashamed to admit this is an important feature in the hotel. And the extra long bed was truly tempting to stay in for long.
Food, Glorious Food (and the Secret of the Poolside Bar):
Okay, the food. It’s divine. Seriously. Breakfast? Forget your sad continental buffet. This is a buffet in restaurant, with fresh pastries, artisanal breads, and enough coffee to fuel a small army. Even the toast tasted better than anything I've ever made (and trust me, I’m a toast connoisseur). The Asian breakfast was delightful, but the Western breakfast was heaven.
The poolside bar is where the magic happens. Sipping a cocktail, looking at the pool with view, and watching the sun dip below the horizon? Pure bliss. There's a solid bar menu too. And the snack bar is perfect for those mid-afternoon cravings. The Happy hour made me a better person.
But my FAVORITE thing? The staff. They’re genuinely warm, helpful, and full of insider tips. Like, "Go at sunset instead of lunch" tips.
Things to Do (or, You Know, Just Relax and Breathe):
Tarquinia is a history buff's dream with all the Shrine too, that's so fun! But let's be honest, my primary goal was to relax. And that's where the Spa comes in. The Sauna was divine, and the Steamroom was a detox wonderland. After a hectic week, I was practically melting into the massage. If you want the Body scrub, you could. If you want the Foot bath, you could. They're options! I mostly just chilled by the Swimming pool [outdoor] because that's more my speed.
The Little Things That Matter:
- Cashless payment service? Yes, please!
- The safe dining setup really made me feel secure.
- The fact that they've removed shared stationery showed they were serious about it.
- I even appreciated the fact there's a doctor/nurse on call and first aid kit.
Downsides (because no place is perfect):
Okay, I'm reaching here. The desk in my room was a little small. And maybe the room service [24-hour] was too tempting sometimes.
The Accessibility Whispers (for my fellow travelers needing it):
I'd need to be honest about the things I didn't need to use, but I could SEE that this place took it seriously. The Facilities for disabled guests were there, including the elevator, which is just smart.
The Bottom Line: Why You NEED to Book This Place (and Stop Reading This!)
Escape to Paradise: Tarchon Luxury B&B is more than just a hotel; it's an experience. If you're looking for somewhere to truly unwind, to escape the hustle and bustle, and to be pampered in style, look no further. I mean, LOOK at all the features. Look at the things to do. The things you can eat. The drinks! Do you like drinks?!
This place has it all. It's a hidden gem, yes, but it's also a testament to genuine hospitality. The staff cares. The food is incredible. The atmosphere is magical.
My Unsolicited, Opinionated Recommendation:
Book. Now. Seriously. What are you waiting for? Go. And tell them I sent you (and maybe you could sneak me a reservation for next time? I'm already dreaming of that pool…)
And Here's the Offer to Tempt Me Even MORE (and You Too!):
Embrace Unadulterated Bliss: Your Tarchon Escape Awaits!
Tired of the ordinary? Craving an escape to paradise? Escape to Escape to Paradise: Tarchon Luxury B&B and experience the Tarquinia you've only dreamt of.
Book your stay now and receive:
- A complimentary bottle of local, exquisite wine to enjoy poolside, or in your impeccably appointed room.
- A special discount on spa treatments, to melt away stress and emerge radiant.
- Insider access to the best local restaurants and hidden gems, curated by our passionate staff.
- Flexibility: Reserve confidently with flexible cancellation policies* and worry-free booking.
Don't just dream it – live it. Click the link below to book your escape and rediscover the art of pure relaxation. Limited availability – so secure your slice of paradise today!
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Alright, alright, buckle up buttercups, because this ain't your grandma's perfectly-planned itinerary. We're doing Tarquinia, Italy, in style at the Tarchon Luxury B&B. Emphasis on the luxury, because honey, I deserve it after the week I've had. Prepare for a gloriously messy, emotionally charged, and probably slightly hungover account of my Roman holiday (well, Etruscan adjacent, but you get the vibe).
Day 1: Arrival & The Sweet Embrace of Italian Hospitality (and Jet Lag)
1:00 PM (ish) - Arrival at Fiumicino Airport (FCO), Rome: Ugh. Flights. Never again. Delayed, cramped, screaming babies… you know the drill. But hey, Italy. That kinda makes up for it, right? Found my pre-booked (thank god! I'm a genius) private transfer. Sergio, the driver, bless his heart, was a dead ringer for George Clooney, except slightly less… Clooney-esque. Still, charming. The drive to Tarquinia was stunning, rolling hills, cypress trees, the whole romantic shebang. I’m already falling in love, or maybe that’s just the sheer relief of being on solid ground.
3:30 PM - Check-in at Tarchon Luxury B&B: Holy. Freaking. Moly. This place! Seriously, I walked in and almost melted. The photos online didn’t even do it justice. The courtyard is a sun-drenched dream, the rooms are HUGE, and the scent of lemon blossoms hangs in the air. Maria, the owner (who, by the way, looks like a Renaissance painting come to life), welcomed me with a genuine warmth that immediately banished all travel woes. And then… the wine. Oh, the wine. Local, crisp, perfect. I may have had two glasses before even unpacking. Don't judge.
4:30 PM - Unpacking & Courtyard Bliss: Okay, so I tried to unpack. But the courtyard beckoned. I plonked myself down on a plush chaise lounge and just… breathed. Just stared at the bougainvillea and listened to the birds. This is what heaven feels like, right? Maybe. I think I spent upwards of two hours just staring at the sky. Possibly took a nap? Details are fuzzy.
7:00 PM - Dinner at Trattoria del Sole (suggestion from Maria): Maria recommended this place, and bless that woman, she knows her stuff! The BEST pasta I've ever had. I’m talking, “tears-in-your-eyes, need-to-write-a-love-letter-to-this-carbonara” good. Seriously. I practically inhaled it. Followed by a perfectly grilled seabass, a generous glass of wine, and then… the tiramisu. I might have actually died and gone to dessert heaven.
9:30 PM - Stumbling around the B&B & Early Bedtime (Jet lag wins): Back to the B&B, slightly wobbly (wine! Tiramisu!), and completely exhausted. The jet lag started hitting around now and I was in bed by 9:30 pm. Definitely a win!
Day 2: Etruscan Treasures & The Accidental Art Lesson (and Coffee Deprivation)
8:00 AM - Breakfast at the B&B: Maria's breakfast is an experience. Fresh fruit, pastries that melt in your mouth, the best coffee (I think I can taste heaven too), and local prosciutto. My life is complete.
9:00 AM - The Museo Archeologico Nazionale di Tarquinia (oh lord!): Okay, big day! Exploring the Etruscan tombs is on the menu. Honestly, I'm not usually a museum person. I get bored easily. But these tombs? Wow. Like, proper, "wow" wow. The frescoes are surprisingly vibrant, even after all these centuries. The guide (who spoke in a rapid-fire Italian I understood about 25% of) was intensely passionate. I could feel the history coming to life. Kind of cool, actually.
11:30 AM - Tombs, Tombs, and More Tombs!: We hired a private driver to get us to some of the less-visited tombs. The driver’s English was even worse than my Italian, but we managed to communicate essential things like, “Where is the bathroom?” and “Is there gelato nearby?” The tombs were incredible. Dark, a little claustrophobic, and filled with ancient secrets. I swear, I could almost feel the ghosts of the Etruscans around me.
1:00 PM - Gelato (Thank God for Gelato!): After all that tomb raiding, a gelato stop was essential. Found a little place in the old town – raspberry, pistachio, and a scoop of something called ‘stracciatella’ (chocolate chip, basically). Gelato fixes everything. EVERYTHING.
2:00 PM - Lunch at a random trattoria: After the gelato, we found a random trattoria. Nothing spectacular, but good enough. Got a pizza, ate it, and went on my merry way.
3:00 PM - Accidental Art Lesson at the B&B: Maria got me in a room and started painting. I don't know why but she really wanted me to paint. She got me some oil paints, brushes, turpentine, and canvas. She then asked me to stare out the window and paint what I see. Here are the results:
- Observations: I don't know what it is but this was fun! I could definitely see myself taking up this as a hobby.
5:00 PM - Rummaging through the shops: In town there were shops. I went through them with a friend and we bought some scarves and jewelry.
7:00 PM - Dinner at Trattoria La Giostra: Recommended by a friend, this ended up being a great option. Great food, and good service. Went to bed shortly afterwards.
Day 3: Coastal Delights & The Perfect Sunset (and Existential Musings)
9:00 AM - Breakfast & Farewell to Maria :( : Another incredible breakfast, complete with more of those pastries that I'm pretty sure are made by angels. I also had to say my farewell to Maria, and it was hard! She's such a lovely human.
10:00 AM - Day trip to the coast, Monteromano: Drove out to Monteromano, and found that the beaches were stunning. The water was crystal clear, and I spent a good couple of hours swimming.
1:00 PM - Lunch at a waterfront restaurant: Got some spaghetti from a cool restaurant. Saw some cool people.
3:00 PM - Relax on the beach: The beach was so good! Absolutely perfect!
7:00 PM - Sunset at the Torre di Lavinio: Went to Lavinio, and had an incredible sunset!
9:00 PM - Dinner and Packing: Packed, and went to bed.
Day 4: Goodbye Tarquinia, Hello (and the inevitable… Departure)
7:00 AM - Final Breakfast at Tarchon: Okay, one last amazing breakfast. I’m going to miss this place. Probably going to miss the wine the most.
8:00 AM - Departure: The driver came and took me back to the airport. Bye Italy!
Overall Assessment: Listen, this trip wasn't perfect. I got lost, I probably ate too much pasta, and I definitely didn't understand half of what the Etruscan guide said. But it was real. It was messy, it was funny, it was emotional, and it was utterly, gloriously human. The Tarchon B&B was an absolute dream, the food was divine, and the Etruscan tombs… well, they were something else. Would I go back? In a heartbeat. In fact, I’m already planning my return. Just need to start saving now…and maybe invest in a Rosetta Stone.
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1. Okay, spill. Is this place REALLY a "luxury" B&B? Because I've been burned before... (cough, that "boutique" hotel in Bali, cough).
Alright, deep breath. “Luxury” is a word that gets thrown around like confetti these days, right? Here's the reality. It's luxurious-ish. Let's be clear: it’s not going to be a five-star, marble-floored, butler-at-your-beck-and-call kind of experience. But, and this is a BIG but, it does try. The rooms are genuinely lovely – think antique furniture, those impossibly high ceilings you only get in old Italian buildings, and seriously comfortable beds. And the breakfasts! Oh, the breakfasts. More on that later.
However… (and there's always a however)... sometimes, and I emphasize sometimes, the "luxury" veers into the charmingly imperfect. My first visit? The hairdryer nearly smoked halfway through. And, yes, I'm pretty sure the air conditioning unit was having an existential crisis one night. Minor glitches, sure. But the genuine sincerity of the hosts, coupled with the ridiculously gorgeous location, kinda makes you forgive them. Mostly.
2. Tarquinia? Never heard of it. Is it… boring? (Be honest.)
Boring? Absolutely not! (Okay, maybe a tiny bit on a Tuesday afternoon when the sun is beating down and you've seen all the Etruscan tombs you can handle.) Tarquinia is… well, it's proper Italian small-town charm. Cobblestone streets, ancient history bubbling just under the surface, and a pace of life that forces you to SLOW DOWN. Which, honestly, is what most of us need, right? The Etruscan museum is genuinely fascinating, and the views from the town are stunning. The beach is… well, it's there. It's more of a "go for a walk, feel the breeze, ponder life" kind of beach than a "swim, sunbathe, Instagram everything" one. But that’s not a bad thing, trust me! It's not the Amalfi Coast. Thank God. A much more *real* Italy awaits you.
3. What's the deal with the breakfasts? I hear murmurings of greatness...
Oh. My. GOD. The breakfasts. Okay, so, look, I'm a breakfast fiend. I live for it. And this, my friends, is breakfast *heaven*. Freshly baked bread, local jams (oh, the fig jam!), creamy yogurt, fruit that actually tastes like fruit (a radical concept, I know), and the best cappuccino this side of Rome. But here’s the kicker: sometimes… sometimes they put out a little tray of tiny, perfectly formed pastries. Like, the kind that just crumble in your mouth and make you forget everything you've ever worried about.
One time, I swear, I ate about twelve of them. My pants felt a little tight that day, but honestly, I didn't care. It was pure, unadulterated joy. Then, the slightly flustered, but genuinely adorable, host, told me one of the croissants was made with olive oil instead of butter. Olive oil! MIND BLOWN - *totally* worth the slight guilt. Prepare to over-eat. You have been warned.
4. Are the hosts… nice? Or are they one of those overly-sweet, fakey B&B owners?
Thank goodness, no! They're not the fakey type. They are genuinely lovely people. They are warm, welcoming, and they clearly care about their guests. They’re attentive without being overbearing, ready with tips on where to eat and what to see. They speak English (which is a huge plus, because my Italian is… well, let's just say I can order coffee and point at things). They're the kind of people you'd actually *like* to have a glass of wine with in the evening, and I did!
However… (see a pattern here?)… don’t expect them to be mind-readers. Occasionally, there might be some miscommunication (language barrier, maybe a bit of a misunderstanding about a dinner reservation). Things happen, you know? But their hearts are always in the right place. And that, my friends, is what truly matters.
5. Okay, what's the biggest "con" about this place? Give me the dirt.
Alright, here it is, the ugly truth. And it’s probably not the thing you’re expecting. The biggest "con" is… leaving. Seriously. Once is enough to plant a seed, and the second time is to bloom the flower of a longing you won’t be able to fulfill for ages. You'll get there, you'll love it, you'll have an amazing time. But leaving… it's like saying goodbye to a long-lost friend. You'll want to go back. You'll dream about the breakfasts, the sunsets, the feeling of simply… being. Then, you'll be back in the real world, and all you'll want is another "Escape to Paradise".
6. Is it good for… [insert various scenarios: a romantic getaway, a solo trip, a family vacation]?
Okay, let's break this down:
- Romantic getaway: Absolutely. The location is stunning, the atmosphere is intimate, and the wine is plentiful. Perfect for hand-holding and sunset gazing. Just watch out for the hairdryer, it might interrupt the romance.
- Solo trip: Yes, definitely. It's safe, welcoming, and easy to explore the area on your own. You'll be able to wander the town, explore the history, and actually RELAX. You won't feel alone for long, with the friendly hosts and fellow visitors.
- Family vacation: Hmm… This is a tougher one. While the hosts are lovely, and the B&B itself is fairly child friendly, it might not be ideal for really young children. It's not a "kid-focused" environment, you know? Very young children might get bored quickly. Older kids, especially teenagers, will probably love the slower pace and the history. Consider it.
7. Give me the absolute BEST experience you had there. Go on. Get specific. (and maybe share any low points.)
Alright. Buckle up. This is going to be messy. It's just the B&B, but it became so much more.
The best? Okay, it's not a single moment; it's a whole *day*. It started, naturally, with the breakfast. See,Serene Getaways
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